Faith not Feelings
One step forward and ten steps backwards. Did I think I was all of a sudden miraculously cured? Sure didn't, but I was starting to think I was almost better. I am fully aware that it is something that takes a long time to get over. Some days are great and some days the fear is all too real and I don't want to do anything because it hurts to do so. I have made such great improvements since the middle of August and I was starting to feel like myself again and then BAM it comes back full force with a vengeance. That ever happened to you? Have you ever thought you were physically or mentally over something and you start getting back up to speed and then all of a sudden you hit a brick wall at 100mph? Good, I'm glad you can relate. I honestly wish every day didn't feel like a pity party that I throw for myself.
I'm only human so it has been hard to put total control in God's hands. It's something I have had to concentrate on daily for the last 2 months. I literally make everything a matter of prayer now. Ask my husband, I break out in prayer in the car, at the kitchen table, or in bed. I try to give it all to God, but it is so hard at times especially when I feel like God isn't present or hearing me and it's especially hard when I don't understand why this is happening to me.
It's not about my feelings though. It's about my faith and I am fully aware that it is about my faith in God even when I can't feel His presence. Remember when I said I was human? It's okay to be human! God knows we aren't perfect. Luckily, we serve a forgiving God. He can handle how we feel whether it be confusion, anger, fear, or doubt. God is okay with us telling Him exactly how we feel.
Just because we can't see or feel God does not mean we can't or shouldn't depend on Him. He is always present. Rely on your faith not your feelings to trust that God is there.
I'm only human so it has been hard to put total control in God's hands. It's something I have had to concentrate on daily for the last 2 months. I literally make everything a matter of prayer now. Ask my husband, I break out in prayer in the car, at the kitchen table, or in bed. I try to give it all to God, but it is so hard at times especially when I feel like God isn't present or hearing me and it's especially hard when I don't understand why this is happening to me.
It's not about my feelings though. It's about my faith and I am fully aware that it is about my faith in God even when I can't feel His presence. Remember when I said I was human? It's okay to be human! God knows we aren't perfect. Luckily, we serve a forgiving God. He can handle how we feel whether it be confusion, anger, fear, or doubt. God is okay with us telling Him exactly how we feel.
Just because we can't see or feel God does not mean we can't or shouldn't depend on Him. He is always present. Rely on your faith not your feelings to trust that God is there.
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