The Road Less Traveled
My path to Christianity has been a hard road traveled. It has taken me a long 27 years for me to fully rely on God and put my trust in Him. Each person has their story and should not be judged on how long it took then to find Christ, just as long as they know Him and He lives in them is the key.
I accepted Jesus into my life when I was just 6 years old. We had been to something at church and when I got home I was talking to my parents about what I had learned. They answered all of my questions and asked if I would like to invite Christ to live in me. That night I laid in between them in bed and they helped me pray and invite Him to live in my heart. The older I got the more I seemed to drift. I went Christian school and church, but something wasn't clicking. I just figured He had been residing in me since I was 6 and that was that. I felt like I didn't need to put in work anymore. Boy was I wrong.
God would continue to work on my heart the older I became. I knew this because the minute the music would come on in church or the radio in the car I would immediately get this lump in my throat and I could feel the tears well up, but I would just suppress the feelings deep down inside. How foolish I was not to accept His calling right then and there.
Truthfully, there has never been a lack of Christ in my life. My parents and both of my grandmothers were the best Christ-like examples my sister and I could have had growing up, and even now that we are grown they will be the first ones to pray for or with us or tell us why God brought us to that specific point in our lives.
It wasn't until I met Jordan(JT) that I felt God more than ever. Maybe I realized that it was God's hand that brought JT into my life. His timing was perfect and brought us together at a time that we could not have needed each other more. I can honestly, whole heartedly say that JT is one of the best humans I have ever met, and I'm not just saying that because I married him. If you have ever met him then your life has most likely changed for the better. He has made me strive daily to be a better person as well. Don't get me wrong, we aren't perfect and do not try to paint the picture that we are, but we are perfect for each other! I was slightly worried I would not find a relationship like my parents. It was one of my biggest fears in life. Luckily I did and I thank God for him daily. JT has been a firm foundation for me to lean on especially lately. In July when I read that positive test, I immediately sat down on the bathroom floor and thanked God. After all it was His doing. Things changed quickly and I found myself questioning God and me. How could He let this happen to us? What had I done so wrong in life that He would punish me like this? I now know He was not punishing me. He was showing me that it was not His timing. As the weeks began to progress I began to fall DEEP down the rabbit hole. So far that I didn't know if I was going to come out of it. It has taken me weeks to finally realize that I could not and no other human could pull me out. It is only God that would be able to pull me out. I just needed to call on Him. After all this time of suppressing His calling, He is the ONLY one that I could call on. I've had to swallow my pride because I don't just need Him now, I've needed Him the entire time. He has been my missing piece. I just hate that I had to hit rock bottom to realize that. Why hadn't I been casting all of my cares on God this entire time? I was too busy thinking I could better myself by myself that I had been completely ignoring God's help.
Today (9/10/17) I prayed that God would come back into my life so that I could be reborn. I immediately felt relief. I felt the spirit and knew that there would be no turning back now. In order to get better and see improvement, I needed to give it all to God. I needed to rest and let Him fight this fight. It is somewhat sad that it took me to get to this point to realize I needed God. I know it's not how I got to this place, but that I'm here now and ready to be used by God for God.
I hope my testimony will help someone. That's my desire even if it is just one person. I know someone will read this and realize they have hit rock bottom too. Just know that you are not alone and God is here waiting to help you. You just need to be willing to be used by Him.
I accepted Jesus into my life when I was just 6 years old. We had been to something at church and when I got home I was talking to my parents about what I had learned. They answered all of my questions and asked if I would like to invite Christ to live in me. That night I laid in between them in bed and they helped me pray and invite Him to live in my heart. The older I got the more I seemed to drift. I went Christian school and church, but something wasn't clicking. I just figured He had been residing in me since I was 6 and that was that. I felt like I didn't need to put in work anymore. Boy was I wrong.
God would continue to work on my heart the older I became. I knew this because the minute the music would come on in church or the radio in the car I would immediately get this lump in my throat and I could feel the tears well up, but I would just suppress the feelings deep down inside. How foolish I was not to accept His calling right then and there.
Truthfully, there has never been a lack of Christ in my life. My parents and both of my grandmothers were the best Christ-like examples my sister and I could have had growing up, and even now that we are grown they will be the first ones to pray for or with us or tell us why God brought us to that specific point in our lives.
It wasn't until I met Jordan(JT) that I felt God more than ever. Maybe I realized that it was God's hand that brought JT into my life. His timing was perfect and brought us together at a time that we could not have needed each other more. I can honestly, whole heartedly say that JT is one of the best humans I have ever met, and I'm not just saying that because I married him. If you have ever met him then your life has most likely changed for the better. He has made me strive daily to be a better person as well. Don't get me wrong, we aren't perfect and do not try to paint the picture that we are, but we are perfect for each other! I was slightly worried I would not find a relationship like my parents. It was one of my biggest fears in life. Luckily I did and I thank God for him daily. JT has been a firm foundation for me to lean on especially lately. In July when I read that positive test, I immediately sat down on the bathroom floor and thanked God. After all it was His doing. Things changed quickly and I found myself questioning God and me. How could He let this happen to us? What had I done so wrong in life that He would punish me like this? I now know He was not punishing me. He was showing me that it was not His timing. As the weeks began to progress I began to fall DEEP down the rabbit hole. So far that I didn't know if I was going to come out of it. It has taken me weeks to finally realize that I could not and no other human could pull me out. It is only God that would be able to pull me out. I just needed to call on Him. After all this time of suppressing His calling, He is the ONLY one that I could call on. I've had to swallow my pride because I don't just need Him now, I've needed Him the entire time. He has been my missing piece. I just hate that I had to hit rock bottom to realize that. Why hadn't I been casting all of my cares on God this entire time? I was too busy thinking I could better myself by myself that I had been completely ignoring God's help.
Today (9/10/17) I prayed that God would come back into my life so that I could be reborn. I immediately felt relief. I felt the spirit and knew that there would be no turning back now. In order to get better and see improvement, I needed to give it all to God. I needed to rest and let Him fight this fight. It is somewhat sad that it took me to get to this point to realize I needed God. I know it's not how I got to this place, but that I'm here now and ready to be used by God for God.
I hope my testimony will help someone. That's my desire even if it is just one person. I know someone will read this and realize they have hit rock bottom too. Just know that you are not alone and God is here waiting to help you. You just need to be willing to be used by Him.
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